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Search Results 0 to 7 of about 8 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Sep 25, 2012 10:45am PDT
news. that is that religions grow out of this awkward phase. again look at christianity. we've aged into young adulthood. now we can all laugh about the time we used to burn young girls at the stake for being left-handed. or as we called it back then, witch craft. >> jon: yeah, i don't think that's so funny. >> jon, that's because your religion is... in fact, how old are you? >> jon: we're 5773 today. obviously you don't look a day over 5729. that's a fact. >> jon: we've been jogging. you're glowing. it's working. the point, jon, is that we need to be patient with islam. they do not have it easy. remember, most teenagers have some means of escape from their insecurity. they smoke pot. they experiment with sex. all night bacon parties. reformation. muslims can't do any of that stuff right now. >> jon: you're saying if we just wait 300 to 400 years >> half a millennium at most. jon: then there will be peace peace? what? [bleep] no, jon. but if we're lucky, we will finally stop fighting over real or imagined insults to our religions and go back to fighting over what really matters: nat
Comedy Central
Sep 24, 2012 7:40pm PDT
're in trouble as a party and i think as a nation. (audience reacts). >> jon: and this is a guy whose religion forbids him from drinking alcohol. can you imagine what he would say if he was (bleep) faced? (laughter) hey, let me tell you something else, don't get me started on the asians, i'll telling you! tricky, tricky people. for more on the story, we're joined by al madrigal and jessica williams. thank you for joining us. (applause) al madrigal, jessica, do you take these comments as a latino, as an african american, as offensive in any way. >> wait, you mean romney is not a latino? are you sure about that? >> jon: yeah. >> he's got great hair, five kids, his wife drives two cadillacs. it sound pretty latino to me. (laughter). >> jon: he's not. but he's saying that if he was latino it would be easier for him to become president. >> not just president, jon, everything in this country is easier if you're latino. (laughter) you think i could have gotten into college if i wasn't latino? no way! affirmative action! it's just like shakespeare said "of all the races 'twixt earth and sky, latinos a
Comedy Central
Sep 27, 2012 11:00pm PDT
, the zionists can eat -- >> give me some that old time i hate your religion. >> i do not believe that muslims, christians, jews, hindu, buddhists and others have any problem among themselves. or are hostile against each other. they get along together comfortably. >> jon: ah, if by comfortably you mean with nearly constant bloodshed. i mean if you are not going to take a shot at the jewish global cabal ruining your life, at least throw an insult the americans way, you know you want to. >> are we to believe that those who spent money-- hundreds of millions of colors on election campaigns have the interests of the people of the world at their heart? >> jon: really, you are going to go after us with campaign-finance reform? i say to you, the world body, if mccain-feingold was not so toothless, the prevalence of super pacs-- isn't anybody going to give us the red meat rhetoric and innovative prop comedy we have come to expect from the united nations? >> this is a bomb-- (laughter) >> jon: that's what i'm talking about. >> this is a fuse. in the case of iran's nuclear plans to build a bomb, a red l
Search Results 0 to 7 of about 8 (some duplicates have been removed)